On Cursing

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

On Cursing:

What's the first thing you want to learn in a foreign language? The swear words, of course! Sorry, but I haven't been able to expand my vocabulary much in that direction. Epi seems to have appropriated American cursing, though they seem to lack our creativity and vigor in telling someone just how, why, how long, and how thoroughly he can go f*** himself. It's a shame really. I should make a village-wide training class on the subject.

People largely use the words you've already heard in the US, but there are a few hilarious exceptions. Well, I think they're funny, anyway. The first word I heard during a game of cards. We play a game called seven-lock that's sort of like Uno. Now, it's rare to play with a full deck of 52 cards so you can be waiting a long time for that much needed eight of spades. My opponent was getting increasingly frustrated but didn't want to curse in front of me so when he yet again drew a useless five he caught himself mid-cuss and instead let fly with the name of Epi's favorite legume. I've heard it on dangerous truck rides and when people drop a sauce pan. Try it yourself: “Oh, peanut!”

The second one makes me laugh every time, but no one else on the island can fathom why. We have a dugong / manatee that visits Laman Bay from time to time and draws in tourists. It's the closest thing the island has to a mascot, but there's no reason that when you're mad you can't shout the Bislama equivalent of dugong: “Cow-Fish!”

Sorry to the more juvenile readers out there, but that's it. I'll keep my ears open.

-- Daniel --