Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Superstition

I need to keep writing about Vanuatu and even muttering the word to myself (go ahead, try it) for fear that otherwise it will all slip away. Normally, I’m not superstitious, cynical even, and I know that on paper at least, this is going to happen. I haven’t been to a bank branch in over a year and stopped receiving paper statements long ago, but at least I know and believe that all my money is still in place. This trip seems less stable for reasons I can’t logically justify. Plans have been verified and papers approved, but I fear that the notion of this adventure takes on greater substance with each new person I tell. There is a ghost before me and only by keeping a fixed gaze and chanting the sacred text “Vanuatu” can I prevent it from blinking out of existence. Or maybe it’s more of a fear that it’s all a dream I may wake from. Anyway, it’s some kind of clever metaphor. Take your pick.

On Monday afternoon, I told the boss I would be leaving. I submitted my letter of resignation, excitedly spilled my plans, and that was that. He came by yesterday to discuss “the transition”, though, and I was gladly thinking, “oh yeah, this is actually happening.” I’ve waited until today to spread the word to the rest of my coworkers and I will be announcing my departure to the Falls Church Concert Band tonight. After that, the whole notion of me leaving the United States for over two years should be a little more solidified.

But, just in case, Vanuatu… Vanuatu… Vanuatu.

- Daniel

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